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terça-feira, 8 de outubro de 2024

My trip to Korea (and other stories)

I wanna use my blog more as a journal now. It makes sense for a lot of reasons, but also because it was precisely in Brussels that I started using it that way. Back in 2016, when I first came here to Erasmus, I changed the scope of this blog - as a reminder, Uspeti means success in Serbian and I created it after Nole won Wimbledon in 2011 to become world number one for the first time - and turned it into this sort of journal/reporting on my first big adventure abroad. You know what? Hang on a second, I'm gonna read again what I wrote back in the day. It's been a while.

Oh, God. This was therapeutic, nostalgic, wholesome and cringe at the same time. Gosh, what an amazing idea to keep it in writing. I feel so good after reading it. Now I can't develop much cause I gotta have dinner and then go out, but I'll continue this post. Maybe tomorrow again.

________________________________________//________________________________________

Damn. Just a bit more than a year later, I actually started a journal. I wrote it more often in the beginning of the year than now in October, but still, I've been keeping it on my mind. I'll write on it today too, and I'll mention that I wrote on Uspeti today - and I'm writing on Uspeti by mentioning I'll write on my journal too. Ah, nice.

The reason I opened this up again just now though, and having totally forgotten about this blog post, is because I think I should start writing a book. People have always told me that since I'm a kid, and yesterday at improv something rang a bell: when Dan asked me to name an action for my colleagues to mimic while acting, I said "you're moping the floor of a classroom after hours". He was like "no no, just moping the floor, Pedro always has a storyline already made". As I was like "oh damn sorry guys I'll try to be more specific" he finally said "not at all, keep it, it's good for improv". And this goes in line with what my therapist says: I have a lot of energy and creativity that I need to use. This is the time to, slowly, start writing a book. I'll start a blog post, in Portuguese, and if I have something to publish I will with no schedule, no nothing.

I also got a piano for that purpose. In fact, the first joint purchase with Sindi, whom I think it's the first time I mention in this blog post. I'm not feeling like playing it too often to be honest, though I really wanna learn, but having it here is already nice and I'll also slowly do it. I'm not in a rush in life. For a lot of reasons, I should remind myself of it.

Finally, I guess I'll leave some lines on Korea too. It was great, and I miss it. It's one of those trips that you know you'll remember forever while you do it, and of course, by then I thought it was time to end right when it ended. But I guess that's normal, specially in such a different place, but I feel real, real good looking back now. Still trying to find myself here - do I travel because I crave living somewhere else, or I'm really fine just traveling and returning to Brussels/Europe even if i then have these feelings of saudade? We'll find out together, even if together is just me and I.

terça-feira, 22 de agosto de 2023

Money

I've been meaning to write this blog post for a while. Ideas have been coming and going about this topic, from many different dimensions - philosophical, moral, material, social even. It may be time to put it into words.

What's money? It's not like I'm asking a question nobody ever remembered to ask. Nevertheless, I think what we should do is never stop to ask it. And that's what we kinda did. We just accepted what others told us that money is, the propaganda we get in our heads since we're kids, the systemic indoctrination. And then we stopped debating what money is - and, perhaps even more dramatically, what it isn't.

Let's start with a very basic example from pop culture. In Ozark - a really cool Netflix show for those who like character development, but not that good if you have no patience for slow plot developments -, already on the first minutes of the first episodes, Marty (Jason Bateman) says that money is "choices". Money is the outcome of our choices, meaning: good choices lead to more money. Bad choices lead to less money.

Is it really though? Of course, it isn't. This bulshit is, first of all, privilege: you can only say money is the result of your choices when you can choose anything you want. And 95% of the world, at least, cannot. A kid in Malawi can always choose the right things: choose the right education, choose the right job, choose the right friends. Everything. If he has no money to take them, though? Doesn't matter for shit. Zero. Studies show that in the UK - a shithole these days but still with some sort of, albeit crooked af, social elevator - mediocre kids from rich parents earn more on average than smart kids from poor parents. What's the choice factor here exactly? Unless you believe you choose your parents. If that's the case, then you shouldn't be reading this blog, you need help.

So we already concluded that money is a barrier - for those who don't have it -, and its absence - for those who have it. What else does that quote from Ozark tell us, though? It comes from an American TV show, and God how I love to trash the US. But this could have totally been said in exactly the same way by a Dutchman, or a German. This is the Protestant moral, the one that while I actually like it a lot regarding religion - you don't need a stupid Pope, just read the Bible yourself at home and let priests marry and have kids like everyone else -, it's what has been forcing us into capitalism for two centuries. Then, it also influenced Charles Darwin to use his Theory of Evolution to justify being selfish aka the fittest. The rationale is simple: God loves you if and only if you work. The fruit of your work is money. Therefore, if you make a lot of money, God loves you more - and others can see that God loves you more. Ironically, at least in Europe Protestant countries are the least religious ones, but this moral remains, and it remains hard.

So money is also morality. And this is the biggest indoctrination we get since the day we're born. Money is all that matters because it's the way it is. And because it's the way it is, not having is bad and you need to have it. This is why people, or at least my mother, talk about the "principle". If someone owes me 20 cents, it's not a lot of money but I should still insist that they pay me. It's about not the quantity, but the "principle".

And while I just did this whole, I believe very rational, essay about the role of money in our society, I still get caught up by these "principles". By what the economists call, precisely, "rationality" - which isn't rational at all, because money comes only after the human being, and not before. But we just cannot imagine a world without it. Even if Marx talked about a society without money, I confess I cannot imagine it. I can see how it makes sense, but I'm so used to it that I can't imagine it.

That's because, on one hand, I managed to get away from the barrier dimension of money - or at least, I am in the process. For the past four years, since I started working in the Netherlands, I don't look at my finances at all. I don't do budgets, I don't save, I don't calculate how much I need for this or that. I just have enough money to know I can do anything I want and still save a lot of it. By anything I want, I don't mean that I waste it - just that my lifestyle is non-extravagant enough so that I naturally do not spend more money than I need. For example, I have money to buy an iPhone. The new model every year, in fact. But I don't. Because I think it's a waste of money for the service it provides, compared to other options in the market. And this is what naturally keeps me in check, these same "rationality" economists talk about.

But at the same time, I still have this morality mentality, the idea that more money is better - which is what we're incentivized to do, to accumulate. I can still go to a restaurant and a Margherita pizza is 10€. While the Regina is 15€. I'd still think, at first glance, that I should take the Margherita because it's cheaper. But I prefer Regina. So why don't I take it? Because in my brain, I still shouldn't spend money. But not because it'll have consequences - like it does when we're students, or we have a low income, where spending money here means not spending there. No: I can totally, absolutely spend these 5€ more. But in my mind, deeply intricated in my brain cells, I "know" I should always take the cheapest decision possible. Because that's the right thing to do.

I'm still navigating all of this, and with time I am indeed proceeding to the point I want to be on - where money is simply a tool and not a goal. In the end, it's what money is for all of us: money is a means to reach an end. If you think about it, nobody really wants money. We just want what money can give us - what barriers it can break, and how moral it makes us feel towards others. Even if you accumulate a lot of money, you are doing it because you know it can be useful in the future. Not to simply have it stay with you. Okay, maybe some people think like that but I think the majority doesn't. 

The majority wants money to spend money because money is access. And no money is no access - which is the case against unpaid internships, by the way. Unpaid internships, in particular, and what in Portugal we've been calling "emotional salary" is yet again another huge contradiction in capitalism. A system that constantly tells you to idolize money, then tells you money isn't everything? They don't tell you because it suddenly stopped being everything, no; they tell you because they want to be the ones accumulating it. It's still everything for them, just not for you because they own the means of production and you need to work for them or risk starvation. And the worse part is that many of us believe in it. Many of us think it makes sense to do an unpaid UN internship, because "you gain experience" and "that's how you start". Funny enough, most of those who say stuff like this are privileged. The ones for whom money never meant a barrier - so why would it mean now? And above all, why would it mean for anyone at all, if it doesn't for me? And even if it means for others, then that's because they have no merit - or not enough merit. This is what they tell us about the homeless too, after all.

We end it here today. Take care,

P

sábado, 1 de julho de 2023

From my balcony

Been a while, huh? Here I am, writing from my balcony in my rocking chair. Just got it like what, two weeks ago, and it took quite a while to assemble together. But now it's alright, and it's chilling. Also, the new table for the balcony is here, with four chairs - I'll add one when my whole family comes - and we just put the old one in this area, called "esplanade", both for recycling and for leaving stuff we think other neighbours might want.

By we I mean with Marija, my friend/housemate/tenant. We thought about renting together, but then I told her, what if I buy and you rent from me? Makes much more sense in this economy, doesn't it. And here we are now. She's great: met her in Copenhagen four years ago, we kept in touch more or less till she came to Algarve in 2021 and then coincidentally moved to Brussels too. She's a bit more extroverted than me, about which I often have the same reaction most of my friends have with me - like Oscar and Andrei being like "how come it's 9am and you're already so active and happy?". But this means she also suffers more from my problem in the Netherlands, which is not finding people that vibe your way. And instead of always being "too much", being too generous and empathetic, and not getting enough reciprocity. This adds up to the fact she's very - stopping it a bit but still - into her standards for the "right man" in Croatia, which often conflict with the more feminist standards in a place like Brussels.

I say this a lot, maybe never here: Brussels is the right place to be right now in my life. I can't say I love it - although, if I really think about it, I don't really love any place. The closest to it it's Olhos d'Água, but even there after living one month straight in 2016 I wanted to leave already. So I think this is just how life is: you live here now, there later, "acolá" in the future and you should use the people as the main criterion. And my people are here. Intellectually, this is the place where I am right now, and I do remember feeling it wasn't in Lisbon a year and a half ago. And being so international means the local culture is more international than the local culture, which I can super coordinate with wanting to be involved with the community here in Schaerbeek. French also helps, compared to Dutch from when I lived in the Netherlands.

And so that's how I bought this apartment. I wrote this almost a month ago, before getting back to it just now. I should really write more, but I haven't been doing it. There isn't really a reason why I haven't other than I just opt to watch more and more Netflix. I mean, I watch stuff that I like but still I should diversify my time at home more. And it was during the first half of this week, when I was in Albania, that was talking with Henrique about it, as well as reading more. I haven't been reading books that I like to read the ones people give me first, but that's stupid because then it never ends. And there's this Spanish one my aunt gave me years ago, called Four Friends, that I'll start this afternoon.

Speaking of books, and Albania, they are connected by the fact that I've been reading Attached on kindle. It's a book that talks about different attachment styles, from anxious to secure to avoidant, and how to identify them, both in yourself and others. It's super enlightening and life-changing, because it puts into words what I've been thinking for a while: it's okay to be anxious, to wanting to be attached, connected, and that the people that always call this as "being too needy", that you should be independent and not needing anyone, are simply wrong. No, they are. My main two takeaways are: we all need someone, including avoidant people, to satisfy needs and wanting that, biologically, we obviously cannot and will not to alone. And I mean not as much about sex, but about care, affection, chemistry. And the second is that if you are like that, if you are more anxious and need more reassurance, more touch, contact, then you need to find someone that understands it and loves you for it. And not someone that tells you constantly that you're "too much".

Why is it connected with Albania? Because I finally met Sindi. We've been texting since late August, after - in a very millennial way - I saw her on a story from Lea. She's already been in Brussels last May but I was in Portugal by then/I didn't know she was around, and this actually goes back to her telling Lea I looked like El Profesor two years ago during the college. With some ups and downs since we started texting, we finally met after so much anticipation. And it was really awesome. She came to pick me up at the airport, had dinner cooked and then we spent every single second together, both in Tirana and by the beach in the south - amazing, super recommend. The best thing about being with Sindi is that not only I can apply what I learned in Attached - and we seem to be very much in sync about being both very passionate, very touchy, wanting to reassure one another -, but also helps me better understand the way I want to be with a partner following the experiences within my circles.

I wrote about this already but for some years now, I feel feminist men are struggling a bit to find themselves between the world they told us worked in a certain way, the way women around us expect us to behave and, last but not the least, the way we want to behave/feel comfortable. I've been feeling it in Brussels, where people are tendentially more progressive but 1) sometimes I just don't know and I can end up be more or less progressive with a girl that wants the opposite and 2) Brussels is a place where the "European" way of doing things - often simply the way it's done in France and Germany - is seen as the correct one, and that others need to catchup. And it's not like that. About feminism in particular - cause about politics it takes another post -, I found out it's really more about me, as a man, to behave in a case-by-case situation. For example, Sindi wanted to iron one of my polos and my first reaction was "oh, well, no, I mean I can do it myself, you don't have to". But then I realize, if she wants to, what's the problem? I also do things more "manly" to her, like sending flowers, and I do it because I want to. Because love is about taking care of each other, making each other happy. So I learned that yes, I have my way of wanting to be a particular type of man, which is a feminist one, but above all it's about feeling good with someone behaving the way they also want to be behave - also because the way feminism is pursued needs to be adapted to particular contexts and particular times. 

And I felt very good with Sindi. I felt we connected a lot and behave in a very wholesome way towards each other. And that's why just less than half-an-hour ago, I booked our Louvre tickets to be there within three weeks from now. Can't wait.

sexta-feira, 8 de abril de 2022

April 8

This is the name of this blog entry since I have so much to write about that no other title would make sense. This is a publication to take stock on what's been up in my life recently, and that I have been postponing writing just because. In fact, I should be postponing again today as I got an abscess removed yesterday on my left arm that got me on sick leave for the week but hey - you can always find excuses not to do stuff.

I haven't written yet about my trip to Ivory Coast, and thus I think I'll start with that. It was on the last week of January to visit irmão Nick in Abidjan, and my first time in Africa. I gotta say, first of all, I was really pop-eyed by the level of colonization of this country. For starters: what the fuck is *the* ivory coast? What kind of independent country calls itself the name the colonizer gave them because it saw them as no more than a place to steal ivory from the locals and to make money out of it? Burkina Faso, up north and the country of Thomas Sankara - the leftist, feminist leader barbarously killed because he wouldn't bend to the French and the Americans - changed their name from Haute Volta to "Land of Incorruptible People" after independence. But I mean, obviously, the locals know better how they want to be called so this is just my (very limited) understanding.

In Ivory Coast, the independentist leader and first president took the notion of representing to the next level. Do you know how rappers go like "yeah this is Queen's motherfucker" or "I'm from Compton, California"? Anti-communist Félix Houphouët-Boigny, who following Wikipedia is a "suspect" of having played a role in the coup that took down Sankara right across the border, was born in Yamoussoukro and was like "everybody should think my hometown is as dope as I think it is". That's why, even today, almost 30 years since his death, every national and international organisation may be in Abidjan but "Yakro" - as the locals call it - is still the capital, with its slightly-bigger-than-the-Vatican cathedral.

We were in Yakro on the day Ivory Coast played Egypt for the quarters of CAN, a competition that taught me two things about 1) the mentality of, at least, the Ivorians in general and 2) football in Africa. First, we watched it together with locals on this terrace, everybody having fun and was passionate about the match, calling us "les blancs"... And then, the match goes to penalties, everybody is stressed, then "we" unfortunately lose and they stay 5 seconds (if that many) sad-ish only to then be like "whatever, life goes on". In Portugal, people would be minimum the rest of the day upset and sad and depressed.

The second thing I learned was the role that, indeed, football plays in being more than just a game. I never liked this mentality back in Europe because, in the end, if football is not just a game nowadays it's because it became all about the money. However, seeing Nick's neighbourhood celebrating in the streets, with fireworks in the skies, "only" because Burkina Faso qualified for the semis was staggering really. In Portugal, we would never, ever, celebrate Spain qualifying for anything. It really is more than just a game.

There's a lot I can talk about from the trip, however, I'll limit this first part of the story to when I got a positive test for malaria. I say it like that because I did a second one two days later and then another back in Lisbon and both were negative, however, I had the symptoms while in Yakro: nausea, shivers, hot-and-colds, a bit of a fever, walking in the street and start puking, not being able to sleep unless with my belly turning up and, overall, just feeling like I'd rather die. Luckily I had good insurance (one time for IATI) and Nick was there being a true homie. About this, in particular, we had quite a friction some days later when we went to a College of Europe (CoE) alumni meeting at... the Belgian Embassy to the Ivory Coast, in Abidjan. The Ambassador is a former CoE alumnus from 20 years ago and invited us and others in town to have this meeting at his place, which was yet another first experience for me. And it was great because I took it as it was: an informal meeting between people that studied at the same place. I treated the Ambassador as "vous" because, and obviously, he's an Ambassador and we are at his place, but I'm neither Belgian nor Ivorian: therefore, I'm there to meet a CoE alumnus, not an ambassador. I understand, however, that this isn't everyone's opinion and that the diplomatic world relies on protocol and untold rules. This is why we had an argument over that, but in the end, I think that I at least, learned from it. And I guess it's different when you see somewhere as your workplace instead of your holiday place as I did.

I then had huge stress about needing to have a negative covid-19 PCR test to return home - likely because they are afraid the West will unfairly close borders again with an African country that is honest about its numbers -, first because it took ages to arrive, then because it was positive, in the meantime my insurance put me in a hotel where I met this very nice receptionist and we still had time to go for a date, and then, at last, I managed to return to Portugal already in February. Then, I took the CAST exam in the middle of the month - the competency-based exam you need to join the EU institutions with a contract and I passed, which is something I'll come up to in a bit. This is just to say that, in the meantime, I moved to Brussels to work as intérimaire (for now) at DG Energy, being really at the center of the European energy policy - which is at the center of the EU's foreign policy overall, given the barbaric and criminal invasion of Ukraine by Russia.

Now that I'm back living in Brussels, a place I already knew very well from my Erasmus, it feels like home really. Still trying to solve some things, both here and back in Portugal, but overall it's going pretty great. I took a CAST exam again almost three weeks ago, for another competence, which I passed again and this is the first thing I wanna share: following an already-visible trend on my blog, I tend to refer to Kendrick's song often and on FAITH. he talks about how he's afraid he will lose his creativity, which is his breadwinning. I think I can relate to it in the sense that, sometimes, and given my path at the CoE, and now my career at the institutions, all of these evaluations that I have been nailing - somehow I feel like one day I may wake up and just not know these things anymore, for some reason (amnesia, whatever). This is clearly a very first-world problem, but it's thoughts I sometimes have that makes me really value more and more what I have.

Also, if being in Brussels as an engineering student had already triggered me to be politically stimulated, now that I am working in policy it definitely does it even more. Having become a climate activist for the past months (although I often do not like to call myself that way as my actions are not as "hands-on" as, say, Greta Thunberg or Xiye Bastida), there are things that I currently reflect on more, and especially for being close to really interesting and awesome people that think alike. And it is very hypocritical, for example, how we have been spending almost a decade arguing we have "no space" for war refugees and now, suddenly we do for Ukrainians. We have job offers specifically for Ukrainians. And I don't even want to consider the possibility of being misinterpreted but, in case it happens, my point is that, and clearly, we have space, work possibilities, everything for every human being in the world. What we didn't have before was empathy, and it would be good if we critically look at our leaders now. It's not right to blatantly say "now they look like us so we'll help us". First, it's borderline eugenia. Second, even in the parallel dimension of psychopathy where that's a valid argument, I personally even look more Syrian than Ukrainian. So no, refugees welcome, no human being is illegal, war must end everywhere and Slava Ukraina.

Finally, just a reflection I have been having for a while but that I never put into words on this blog: as late-stage capitalism evolves, we are reaching a period in a society where we become even more and more unequal, and even more and more having a big chunk of the population serving a small portion of it. I'm talking about the growth of Uber (Eats) jobs, where literally these people work in very shitty conditions and their job is to satisfy the whims of some of us. But this is also visible on a bigger scale, for example how I see most of my former engineering colleagues graduating and then going to work in IT. I am, naturally, not talking about those who did Informatics, but instead Chemical, Physics, Biomedical, Mechanical engineers that see the market as forcing them to follow the path that the market always does: the one that maximises wealth for those who control the means of production. I'll write more and better about this in the future, I hope.

Be safe,

quinta-feira, 3 de março de 2022

Portuguese energy dependence in a European context

Context

Despite being the fourth EU country that decreased its energy imports dependency the most since 2000, Portugal still imported almost 74% of its energy mix by 2019, above the EU average of 60.5% (that has, on the other hand, increased since the start of the century). By the end of the past decade, around 70% of the Portuguese energy mix relied on oil, gas, and coal (the latter having been phased out by the end of 2021).

The Russian invasion of Ukraine puts into question the security of energy supply to the European Union (EU). Russia is the historically biggest supplier of natural gas to Europe – in late January and early February, Liquefied Natural Gas (LNG) coming mostly from the US represented the biggest share of the energy mix, with Norwegian gas coming in second. In fact, if Russia halted all of its gas production, there would not be enough in the world to match the European demand. In addition, the possibility of a long-lasting war could severely hamper the gas flow from East to West that transits through Ukrainian territory. Portugal is one of the Member States impacted the least by a possible interruption of Russian gas to the EU. While indirectly affected by an eventual rise of the price of gas in case of a disruption, Portugal has a relatively low share of Russian gas in its energy mix in 2021 – 10.2%, while more than 40% EU-wide came from Russia in 2019 –, and the last time it imported from Russia at all was last October. Natural gas reaches Portugal via two main routes: by land, through Spain, or by boat, receiving American and Nigerian LNG at the terminal located in Sines (160km south of Lisbon).

Portugal is not as exposed to Russian natural gas as the other Member States for two main reasons; the first is that it is the furthest country from Russia on mainland EU. The second is the lack of electricity interconnectivity between the Iberian Peninsula and the rest of the Union. Already back in 2014, the conclusions adopted by the European Council (EUCO) 169/14 stated the urgency in achieving a “minimum target of 10% of existing electricity interconnections”, setting the timeline for 2020 “for the Member States which have not yet attained a minimum level of integration in the internal energy market, which are (…) Portugal and Spain”. Regarding electricity alone (one of the components of the total energy consumption, the other two being heating and transport), more than 50% comes from low-carbon sources – highlighting the lower dependence on foreign gas for the functioning of the country.

The Madrid Declaration from 2015 meant an increase in ambition to push for a 15% interconnection level by 2030 and, at the 2018 II Energy Interconnections Links Summit (Madrid 2015 was the first), the 10% by 2020 and 15% by 2030 targets were again recalled. However, four years later, little progress has been made to meet them.

Big expectations, small implementations

As of 2022, all of the planned interconnection projects are yet to become completed. The Biscay Bay, also known as Biscay Gulf, is predicted to be commissioned only by September 2027, and the Pyrenean crossing lines 1 and 2 will not become operational until 2029 and 2030, respectively. Regarding the PT-ES interconnection, which route goes from Beariz (ES) to Fontefría (ES) to Ponte de Lima (PT) to Vila Nova de Famalicão (PT), the commissioning date is set to December 2023. This means that the 2020 target ended up not being reached.

Last November, Portugal, Spain, and France signed a declaration highlighting the role of energy interconnections amid the current global price hike, renewing their commitment to completing the Biscay Gulf project to double the current interconnectivity between France and the Peninsula. Already in June, Minister of the Environment João Matos Fernandes referred to the importance of allowing renewable, cheaper energy flowing from Portugal to the rest of the continent – and thus contribute to the EU’s energy security. The minister considered that the PT-ES line – initially predicted to become operational by 2015, and then postponed to 2017 – was finally on the right path again, following what he described as Spain being uncertain regarding the location of the corridor. He also reiterated that Portugal remains interested in a subaquatic connection with Morocco to transport electricity, a project delayed since its proposal in 2016 – following Matos Fernandes, also due to hesitancies from the other party.

In July of 2020, the Portuguese National Energy and Climate Plan (NECP) for 2030 was approved. It highlights, among other aspects, the evolution of electricity interconnections with Spain, currently consisting of six 400 kV lines and three 220 kV lines. It mentions the goal of reaching 10% by 2020 and 15% by 2030, stating that while Portugal is doing its share to meet the targets the same is not happening on the other side of the Peninsula – described as an “electric island” by the plan. Portuguese MEP Maria da Graça Carvalho wrote recently an opinion piece for Diário de Notícias, where she considers the Pyrenean line as extremely important for the maintenance of natural gas as a “transition fuel”. She attributes its stalling to the French “lack of political will”, an opinion shared by Secretary of State for Energy João Galamba – that considers that France prioritizes its nuclear sector above all.

Current state of affairs

António Costa Silva, former president of oil company Partex, has another “culprit”: speaking to online media Observador, he believes Germany put its own energy interests ahead of the Union’s by building Nord Stream II, instead of promoting a more integrated European energy market – all the way to Lisbon and Sines.

For Spain, the idea of the PT-ES lines is to be able to double its electricity exports to Portugal. Going through the worst drought since 2005, Portugal has been producing less hydroelectric energy due to the unusually lower average water level in dams – with four of them having already been limited at the start of the month not to produce electricity. From 2020 to 2021, Portuguese electricity imports from Spain increased by 40%, while exports decreased by 15% - the final balance, around 4.75 GWh and tripling the level of 2020, meant around 10% of electricity consumption in the country. After some controversy that closing the two remaining coal plants in 2021 (that represented nearly 10% of all electricity production and made Portugal the fourth Member State to stop using coal) would increase coal-produced electricity imports from Spain, the government has ensured that this is not the case and that solar energy production is compensating for coal. Furthermore, data shows that these plants already lacked price competitiveness in 2020, which is the number one factor that determines a higher or lower level of imports (and not a decrease on the supply side). In that same year, Portugal surpassed its 31% target for the share of renewables in primary energy consumption (34.1%), the fifth-highest value among the Member States. By October 2021, 65.2% of all electricity produced in Portugal came from renewable sources and only 1.56% from coal.

Two weeks ago, the Portuguese Foreign Affairs Minister was interviewed by Expresso. Augusto Santos Silva focused on how Portugal can be a key player in reducing the European overdependence on Russian gas, in particular the role of the aforementioned Sines terminal – that is being used at full capacity to receive LNG from the US. Rui Cartaxo, former president of the Portuguese energy grid (REN), considers the suspension of Nord Stream II by Chancellor Olaf Scholz as a win not only to America but also to countries like Qatar that can benefit from the inevitable rise in gas prices. Santos Silva also mentions how other European leaders are becoming more aware of the very important part gas interconnections can play in bringing green gases (among them, hydrogen) from Portugal and Spain to the rest of Europe – and denoting confidence that France is (again) on-board. He believes the current energy prices crisis shows how crucial it is for the Iberian Peninsula to be integrated, and in particular for Portugal to export with not only green hydrogen but also its extremely high output of solar, wind, and hydroelectric energy.

sábado, 2 de outubro de 2021

First day at the European Commission

Yesterday, the 1st of October of 2021, was my first day working for the European Commission. So far, I'm still just a trainee at the Representation in Lisbon, but I think I can already say I am, even if so far for just five months, an European Union civil servant.

I am writing this blog post because I want to record it and, hopefully, look back within years, maybe decades, and read what were my thoughts back in the day. And for now, my first one is that it's a dream come true to have an EC email address!

The first day at the Rep was alright, everybody was super nice and the working environment, since most people spent most of their lives abroad before (Brussels and other places in delegations), is more horizontal than vertical. This is great, as I got used to it in the Netherlands and I identify myself better with this style of hierarchy.

Furthermore, and while the work of the organization seems to be a bit of everything overall, my traineeship plan in particular will make me focus on 2/3 priorities of the current von der Leyen Commission. I am for sure choosing the European Green Deal for writing an analytical final report, and I would also like to develop my knowledge further on Youth and economic reforms - which are very broad themes but I mean in relation to the EGD in particular. Then, there's really cool stuff coming up as well like the Web Summit, where we will be receiving Commissioners and I am super looking forward to it. Other than this, the place is nice (close to Avenida da Liberdade) and while it's a bit weird to work and not study in Lisbon, I will get used to it pretty soon.

In addition to all of this, I will also have the honour and extreme luck to go to Edinburgh to TED Countdown in mid-October. This is one of the biggest TED conferences that will focus on topics related to climate change, and it will be an opportunity to meet Vice-President Timmermans in the scope of a new initiative that is being launched: peer parliaments. Very, very exciting as well to take part in it and further expand the democratic engagement of everybody in the Union for this cause.

domingo, 24 de janeiro de 2021

24 de Janeiro de 2021: a pior derrota para a democracia Portuguesa em 45 anos

Olá.

O resultado do Chega nas eleições legislativas de outubro de 2019 foi de 1,29% dos votos. O que, por si só, já é 1,29% a mais que o que devia ser. Mas enfim, elegeram "só" um deputado, então parece que o país inteiro conclui, muito inteligentemente e em particular da parte dos centristas, que era só fogo-de-vista.

Hoje é dia 24 de janeiro de 2021. Ou seja, menos de ano e meio desde esse dia de 2019. André Ventura, o candidato apoiado pelo Chega, nonuplicou os resultados do partido fascista para estas eleições. É uma palavra estranha, mas existe, e aquilo a que se refere também é, infelizmente, real: o Chega teve mais de NOVE vezes o número de votos nestas eleições presidenciais que teve nas últimas legislativas. Nove vezes.

Vejo muita malta à direita (em particular o Chicão, daqueles fascistas de calças caqui que ficam na toca até que eles voltam ao poder) a celebrar esta vitória do "seu" candidato, eleito maioritariamente com votos de eleitores do PS. E também se vê, como de costume, centristas que se acham muito sábios por serem capaz esde dizer baboseiras como "ambos os extremos estão errados!" - curioso como só se vêem sempre a normalizar a extrema-direita, e nunca a extrema-esquerda -, a ficarem felizes pelo Marcelo ter ganho e, indo mais longe, por pelo menos a Ana Gomes ter ficado à frente do facho.

Eu votei nela, de facto. Não votei na Marisa ou no João, que também mereciam o meu voto e não, de todo, terem ambos, com o Tino incluído se quisermos, menos votos que o Ventura. Mas hoje é um dia péssimo, terrível, para a nossa democracia. Porque significa que há seis vezes e meia (o valor em número de votos absolutos) mais portugueses a votar no regresso do fascismo a Portugal. Porque políticos como Rui Rio, líder do segundo maior partido nacional, volta a defender o fascista, a sua coligação nos Açores e prova que a sede de poder em 2023 é superior à determinação em impedir a escalada do fascismo. E porque o presidente reeleito é conivente com tudo isto, pois não só não condenou a coligação nos Açores, que podia e devia ter feito simbolicamente, como ainda fala nos debates que se deve "debater" com fascistas (digam-me um exemplo na história onde isso resultou).

Não é um bom dia para a democracia portuguesa. É um dia, sim, muito, muito mau, pois a juntar a isto temos ainda uma abstenção superior a 60% - um recorde absoluto em mais de seis pontos percentuais. E é bom que a esquerda, e já quase que peço de joelhos, o PS, se apercebam que se nada muda até 2023, teremos um governo com o Chega coligado. E talvez não haja mais nenhum depois desse.

segunda-feira, 23 de novembro de 2020

Survivor's guilt

Many of the one billion followers this blog surely has (I don't trust these biased stats that say I don't even have ten people reading this, all they want is to make me write more and give them clicks!) know that my favorite rapper is Kendrick Lamar. In fact, if you know me in person and/or follow me on Twitter, I am pretty sure you are part of one of these three groups:

  • You know I saw Kendrick live in Lisbon back in 2016.
  • You know I saw Kendrick live in Lisbon back in 2016 and that I had (and still have) a ticket to see him again this past summer, but then covid happened, and WHERE THE FUCK IS THE NEW ALBUM?!
  • You know I saw Kendrick live in Lisbon back in 2016 and that I had (and still have) a ticket to see him again this past summer, but then covid happened, and WHERE THE FUCK IS THE NEW ALBUM, and you know I firmly disagreed with him when, two years ago, he called a fan on stage to sing with him, she was white and sang "nigga" when she was supposed to, but the crowd booed her and he took her side.
Anyway, Kendrick. I got hooked on him with To Pimp a Butterfly (2PAB), a masterpiece about which I could write a full blog post - especially after listening to Dissect, a podcast dissecting every song of it, please check it out too. It was only after it that I got to know his previous music and, in particular, songs from his first album/last mixtape, Section.80 (Good Kid, M.A.A.D City is, however, his major-label debut) such as ADHD and HiiiPoWeR.

This post is not about rap, so I won't go into much detail about the song. My whole point in bringing it up is to mention that Kendrick refers to several black activists in the song, such as Fred Hampton and Bobby Seale (both Black Panthers), who are portrayed in the recent Netflix movie "The Trial of the Chicago 7". It's a movie that tells the story of seven white activists, not that their skin tone is relevant but just to indicate they were not necessarily focused only on the African-American cause - although Seale appears as the eighth, having a mistrial after being, literally, bound and gagged in a US district court, and Hampton as Seale's unofficial advisor in court. And this is why I remembered HiiiPoWeR while watching the movie, and while we have to go back to Kung Fu Kenny one last time to understand the title of this post.

Survivor's guilt is something Kendrick talks about in several songs, directly or indirectly (for example, in the poem guiding the story of 2PAB) and interviews. It's the feeling he has because he was able to leave Compton and resist the temptations the street life offered him - selling drugs for quick cash, spending every day drunk and high, grabbing a gun to kill a rival gang member, and continuing the vicious cycle of government-promoted poverty and incarceration. Because he did it, and others, many others didn't (Kendrick recalls he saw his first murder at the age of five, and even in recent years he talks about some friends having been killed), he feels guilty for it. He feels guilty for having survived, for living the life he lives nowadays while many of his friends didn't even make it past 25.

Of course, I'm not trying to say my situation is comparable to Kendrick, at all. But I think that it is precisely by being aware of it that I feel something similar to what he describes. As a Portuguese, I'm born in the third safest country on the planet, not at all the richest but still richer than 90% of the others, a piece of land that nobody except the Castilians/Spaniards ever tried to conquer (except the French in the 1800s but well, it was Napoleon and we kicked his ass), virtually absent from both World Wars. And while my family is not rich, it's clearly still above the average, which gave me the means - not at all my merit, just pure luck - to have educated parents that made me educated as well, and wealthy enough to, even with many sacrifices from their side, allow me to relocate to study and even to fund my first month after moving to the Netherlands. What I am trying to say is: I literally have no problems in my life. Sure, sometimes I am heartbroken, some other times I missed a flight, maybe I even had to get stitched this summer after hitting my head in an aluminum window. But why did that happened? Because daddy and mommy funded my Erasmus in Brussels, which allowed me to catch a flight to Hamburg and meet my ex, so as to "compensate" having lost the one to Dublin some weeks before. And because I went to Porto Santo this summer, the second and most paradisiac island of Madeira, the Portuguese islands that everybody in the world wants to visit. So, as you can see, not even these are real problems, but just minor, unfortunate circumstances of very lucky situations that have been falling on my lap throughout these 26 years. Sure, they suck, and of course that others having worse problems doesn't mean you don't have them either, but I really am fucking privileged.

I am even entitled to be socialist. Just imagine, a Portuguese engineering graduate, studying at the most elitist institution for European Affairs, after living two years making more money than his parents together in the country that literally invented capitalism, claiming that he believes in communism. As you can see, it is pretty obvious that capitalism benefits me way more than any other system. Here in post-communist Europe, I have to say I really feel guilty sometimes of arguing about it with my Slavic colleagues. Who the fuck am I to tell them that the system (even if it was not really, at all, the type of communism I believe in, but that's how it got branded) that was forced into their countries and repressed their parents and grandparents is "good"? Me, the guy from Portugal that sure, had the longest fascist dictatorship in Europe but even that (!) was taken down with a peaceful revolution? Do I really have a moral ground here?

This stroke me, even more, yesterday, when we had the Ukrainian Day in the college and watched a documentary about the Euromaidan revolution - for those of the one billion people that are reading this and may not know what it is about, it was when Ukrainians protested for months against the decision of their president/gangster at the time not to sign a trade deal with the EU and, instead, licking Putin's ass. This relates directly to the influence Russia still has in the country since the Soviet times, as well as in Belarus where there are daily protests happening since the summer and good, peaceful, innocent people are being put into jail, disappearing, and sometimes even dying. The documentary ended and I saw a Ukrainian crying, a Georgian was emotional and I also got tears coming to my eyes at some point. However, what the fuck do I know? I can comfort them, I can say I understand but do I really? Do I really know what is like? Even to protest against the anti-abortion laws in Poland I decided or at least didn't make the effort to change it, to have a birthday dinner at my place. Am I really doing the best I can to support the causes I believe in? Seeing photos of the protest days later and knowing that it forced the government to, at least, delay the publication and implementation of the ruling, really made me feel like I should have been there. The same feeling I had when watching the Euromaidan protests as well as the anti-War movement demonstrations in the US portrayed by the Chicago Seven.

Maybe, and hopefully, I will never be able to understand the things I just described. And maybe this survivor's guilt, as in survivor of a racist, exploitative, corrupt system, will be with me forever - even if I firmly believe that, if I die by natural causes, I will still witness the end of capitalism. I just hope I will be able to directly contribute to change, and I mean way more than just our economic system: I mean ending neocolonialism, ending racism, ending patriarchy, ending homophobia. Because I am, since the day I was born, part of all of these problems. And it is my duty not to be complicit with evil because this isn't just about me: it's about all of us.

quarta-feira, 18 de novembro de 2020

One month to return home

Sup? I hope, at least. At the time of writing this publication, TAP has canceled my flight and now I have no other yet. My mother is now trying to call them to reschedule for the same day with a layover, let's see if it's possible.

So, the College of Europe. We are already in the second half of November, and I still sit in the Copernicus Auditorium, looking at the flags standing in the back of the room (EU, College's and Poland, in this word) and find it hard to believe that I am really here. I really am just a few more than seven months away from adding a Master of Arts to my Master of Science.

This is definitely being a great experience. Besides the courses and workshops (that I did not enroll in this semester, however, I am sneaking into one on Policy Analysis because it is super interesting and Pedro from the past really failed in this regard), I'm learning Polish and, this semester only, Arabic, teaching Portuguese sometimes, helping people with Economics and other courses and, unfortunately not for a while now, doing sports. And if there was no lockdown, I'd be going downtown at least once per week to concerts and restaurants.

I know this really is my thing because time passes so faster in these classes than it did back in Physics. This week we had three sessions of +2h of Economics, and it really passed super fast. Of course, this doesn't mean everything is a "sea of roses", as we say in Portuguese. The social part of this campus is, overall, awesome, because you meet a lot of different people, interested in a lot of different things, and in a very non-judgemental (usually) place. I feel like I finally met other men that can admit their fragilities, talk about their problems, not pretending we are always fine and that we don't feel anything. Because we do feel a lot of things.

The other side of this is that, on the other hand, and this is naturally not a surprise for me, it's quite solitary to think outside the box. I don't mean to say it's about knowing more or less, that's not what this is about. And I also knew that coming to the College would be seeing a normalized way of thinking, more present in central-northern Europe, about several political and economic issues. And sure, I know I am quite intense when arguing, but it's still not cool being at a dinner table and, for example, every time I am talking with someone people around are seeing and commenting that "Pedro, always discussing capitalism". Or in class, I take the microphone to ask a question, again the same. Because I know there are more like me. I just wish more would also speak and show me I'm not alone. Maybe it's asking too much and it's unfair because most people just don't want to put themselves out there. But I think I'm in my right to have doubts sometimes, I'm (also) not made of iron.

In the meantime, I wonder whether this kind of prevents me from finding a girl in the College. Being all over the place, in a place where the "dating dynamics" seem to be not to kiss and tell and hide your game, is hardly set to work out the way I want it to. In any case, it's impossible to be with someone if you are not who you are with your own self in the first place. And I know it, just have to keep reminding myself of it.

quinta-feira, 11 de junho de 2020

A normalização da monogamia

Olá,

Partilhei esta série de tweets e acho que seria interessante ficarem registados nalgum lado. Pode ser que alguma alma perdida pela internet leia isto, até. O "gatilho", como dizem os nossos amigos brasileiros, foi este artigo no iAmExpat: https://www.iamexpat.nl/expat-info/dutch-expat-news/4-skills-you-need-order-have-long-lasting-relationship.

Quatro fatores são apontados: empatia (a sério que é preciso empatia para estar numa relação com outro ser humano?!), regulação emocional (ou seja, não podes ser malta que ferve em pouca água), ilusões positivas/gratidão e inteligência erótica (pois, sexo faz parte de relações). Qual é a conclusão do artigo? Que, para manter a chama, há que "aumentar a intimidade física e sexual, e também o romance", pois é preciso "explorar o desejo e criar mistério" e agora vem aí a parte melhor... para continuarmos "comprometidos com o mundo MODERNO". Quando é que vamos finalmente perceber que não há nada de moderno em forçar monogamia a toda a gente? Que em vez destes artigos de merda de especialistas de merda sobre como nos obrigarmos a estar com a mesma pessoa durante décadas, faria muita gente + feliz aceitar o contrário? Não sou eu quem o digo. São eles mesmos. O artigo diz com todas as letras que relações precisam de "mistério" e "desejo". Mistério, ou sentimento de novidade que aumenta a dopamina, só existe quando, por definição, se experimenta algo novo. E não há nada mais triste que role-play. Porquê? Porque é uma tentativa muito desesperada de "espicaçar" algo que não se espicaça. Se estás há 20 anos a só ter relações sexuais com uma pessoa, é normal estares aborrecido. Anormal serias não estar. E se essa pessoa se vestir de professora, continua a ser a mesma pessoa. Agora, quer isto dizer que já não a amas e que deves (necessariamente) deixar de estar com ela?

Claro que não. Amor não é um recurso limitado. Essas teoria de merda da cara-metade e que só podes amar uma pessoa de cada vez não passam disso, de mais uma estupidez monogâmica. Podes perfeitamente amar mais que uma pessoa. Podes perfeitamente estar numa relação, ires a um clube numa noite, dormires com outra pessoa e no dia seguinte pensares "ya isto foi fixe mas é só isto" e continuares a amar o parceiro. Ou até passar a amar as duas pessoas. A minha conclusão é: não existe terapia de casais, espicaçar de relações que "funcione", pelo simples facto de que é contra-natura. O que existe são pessoas lavadas cerebralmente, quer clientes quer terapeutas, que se querem forçar mutuamente a viver de uma dada maneira. Obrigado.

Não se estraguem. Abraço,
Pedro

sábado, 14 de dezembro de 2019

The school system and our society

Because I have posted a long comment on a friend's Facebook post, which I think is worth to share with more people and keeping a record of it, I'll make use of it here as well. If by chance you read this, please let me know your thoughts!

School, as a whole concept, is the best way that human beings can evolve and develop themselves. Nevertheless, is full of structural flaws, such as:
- The system that is used is dramatically outdated, as it comes from the beginning of the last century when workers were supposed to execute, and not think;
- It is full of bias, as it is either public, so you learn the current governments' narrative of the facts (colonialist countries, for example, mine, portray it in a very romanticized way), or private, where all that matters is profit and not actual knowledge.
- This bias has the mission of keeping the status quo, and that is why, in most countries, the school system is not made to make you think by yourself but to "teach" you how to think like they want you to. The reason why you don't learn basic financial education, politics (not just history of politics) and so on is sole because, the more ignorant the people, the less likely the establishment is to change. The whole sphere of what you learn is only what is "acceptable", giving you the illusion that you can question everything, but in fact, you can only question what is inside that sphere.

From my experience, my school time was way too easy. I barely studied, even in university I have, of course, had to but I usually say I only did it in months that start with a J, and ever since my first year of primary school until my last year of masters I saw colleagues studying way more than I did, but having worse grades. And why is that? How come a guy like me be rewarded in a system that proclaims that the more you work, the better results you achieve? It's very simple: in a one-size-fits-all system, it is unfair for everybody unless you make yourself fit the norm. It is unfair for the ones that simply do not give two fucks about what is the area of a cylinder, and also to the ones that are too sharp and end up learning less than they should. I would always, constantly, year after year, end my tests and exams before most of my colleagues, always listening to comments like "Pedro's again rushing for it, surely he'll have a bad grade, besides he barely studies" and again and again I was top of the class. What kind of example of a good system is this?

The school system has to change, but society has as well. In BEST [Board of European Students of Technology, a pan-European organization which aims to empower diversity and develop European Higher Education students] we focus on making students attractive to companies; however, those same companies, most of the time, are not suitable for nowadays' society either. We say we live in a democracy, yet corporations are hierarchical. We say we want to go green, yet we live in a system that puts profit above it all. We say we want to educate people, yet in order to give tax cuts to the rich, we take money out of the Education budget. It's not just the school system that needs change: it's THE whole system.

segunda-feira, 21 de outubro de 2019

Trip to Bali + transit in Guangzhou

And here I am, years after my last publication on this worldwide famous blog, writing my words while waiting at Guangzhou airport to fly back to Europe. I wish it was already to Schiphol, however, I still have a short, but existent, layover in Paris, and this suck even more because I met this Dutch girl that is flying directly to Amsterdam 15min before me, and via China Southern as well. Guess this is the price of only having paid 393€ return for this holiday.

Fast-forwarding to know, as in, landing in 30min in Schiphol at last, I want to leave in words my experience in Southeast Asia. After all, that's precisely what I told Kay, this Canadian girl I met at the hostel in Nusa Penida, to justify not having Instagram: I'm more of a words guy, not an image one.

Bali was a great trip. I met really cool people, had good massages, did a very powerful Tibetan meditation session in Ubud that inspired me to do it daily now that I'll be back home, followed my main goal at its fullest and got my scuba diving Open Water course in Amed and, adding ot all of this, visited Guangzhou thanks to the amazing service provided by China Southern - on both legs, they offered me free accommodation and transfer to pretty decent hotels in the city following my 12h and 10h layovers, on both ways, as well as provided me with tickets for two museums yesterday, that I could not visit due to lack of time but kept with me as they have no expiration date.

Nevertheless, and while all of this is already enough for lifetime travel for many people, I couldn't help but feel quite solitary at some point. In Canggu, it was fine because not only I met this guy from Couchsurfing and his friends, but I also joined a CS meeting and got to know, among others, Hassan, one of the best persons I talked to during these days. Then, in Ubud, it was just one night and I still met a Couchsurfing girl and two others that joined her on the place I did the Tibetan meditation. However, in Amed, a place where you only go for either scuba-diving or in transit to the Gilli islands, and if you do the first one you go with friends, partners or family, it was lonely not having anyone to share it, even if on the third night I met cool people at the Pacha bar.

This made me think about stuff in general, and now it's already the 21st and I didn't write anything until now, which means I don't feel the same urge any more so I'm gonna wrap it up already. The bottom line is: go to Bali, it'll be fun and you will get to know really nice people, do amazing sport and nature activities and so on. One thing, though: don't think that by going there you will heal, find your soul, or all that bulshit that is often fantasized on Instagram. I mean, of course, it is a good place to be if you are in that phase of your life, but it is all a process, you are still the same person when you return. The point is the way that you decide to deal with it, and the more days that go by after my return, the more I realize that being there really made me think about stuff in a different way. I still have the same problems here, but maybe I see some of them different.

P.S.: in Amed I saw stars in the sky, which made me realize I don't see them anymore in Europe. And that's a promise I did myself, leaving in a place where I can see them.

terça-feira, 18 de julho de 2017

In Finland

What's up? I still have more than half an hour to my flight to Porto (my third and last one, after Helsinki - Oslo - Madrid) and I have already both went through security and ate seven onion rings, so I still have a lot of time to write this post until heading to the gate. I can finish watching Straight Outta Compton for the second time during the flight or in the four hours I still have to take in a train from Porto to Abrantes. I want my bed already.

So, about Finland, I have to talk about the language first and I think this sums it up perfectly: Suomi (both the language and the country, like Portugali) is so fucked up that if you read it backwards, it still resembles Finnish. I got to know some words already, like moi (bye), kiitos (thank you), juusto (cheese, important one), io (yes), ei (no), yhksi, kaksi, colme, nelia, viisi (one, two, three, four five); I didn't check up the spelling because regardless of its fucked-upness, Finnish is read as it is written so I should have nailed it.

I loved Helsinki. Like, the city center is small and of course it doesn't have as much to see as Copenhagen or Stockholm, for example, but the ensemble of green spaces, sea islands and urban areas (with the vanguardist architecture that is present throughout the whole Scand... Nordic countries) is absolutely marvellous. And the weather was great until today (uff), in opposition to when I was in Denmark and Sweden. I really recommend everybody to go to Helsinki in the summer, and I hope to comeback both there and also in the winter to go to Lapland meet Santa.

We've also went to Merikarvia, to Hanna's parents summer house, and to Tallin. The first one is quite like Barragem do Castelo do Bode, where my grandparents have a house and so I know it since I was a kid. We went by boat to this island (Hanna wanted one with noboby else there because it's Finland, people go all naked to sauna but can't socialise with each other when being dress) to cook some pancakes, reading and chilling out. It was nice. Close to Helsinki I've also been in two islands, Suomenlinna and Seurasaari, which I both recommend as well: going by ferry to the first one, it is bigger and has a church, a castle and resembles a bit the Shire from Lord of the Rings, while for the latter needs no more than crossing a bridge close to the Botanical Garden. Seurasaari has this open air museum with historical houses and buildings taken from its native sites and moved/reconstructed in the island. Unfortunately I didn't get the chance to see it properly.

About Tallinn, it was nice but could have been better if we hadn't miss the 7:30 ferry (only 10€ and 2h each trip via Tallink). We had to take the 13h30 as the 10h30 was already fully booked and therefore we stayed no longer than 7h there. It was pretty cool anyway though, the Old City has a lot of interesting places for sightseeing and learning about this young country's long history. We had dinner in this Irish place called St. Patrick's and it wasn't too expensive (yeah, Tallin ain't that cheap for a Eastern country to be honest).

I don't have as much to say in this post as in the previous ones because this time I was with Hanna and so I've talked with her about my doubts and thoughts about the places where we've been. I usually write more about my experiences by myself, as I have no one to share them with in the moment. Hanna's parents were super nice to me, and the good thing about human relations in the North is that if people seem to like you, they really do and that's very important for me. Hanna's friends as well but considering their average age of 28, we would go drinking somewhere and then at around 21h, 22h they'd be like "oh, I am almost 30, I gotta go back home to sleep early and go to work".

Things with Hanna moved a bit forward, I guess. We assumed a relationship, which basically doesn't change anything among us but it makes things way easier to explain to the others. Anyway, she's still in Hamburg and me in Lisbon and so I don't want to assume a compromise like this; she lives alone since she's 18, got engaged in 2012 and is already 28 but I'm still 22 and financially dependent for at least one more year. And while I acknowledge her situation, she acknowledges mine too. It would be nice if she'd come here to work this year and I've established some contacts already so let's see how it works out. Anyway, if I do go to Copenhagen to attend that PhD in Science Communication we'd be way closer. I've emailed Prof. Pedersen once again but he's on vacation till the 27th so I'll do it again on that day. We get along really well even though we have some distinct tastes in pointless stuff, but we also do in crucial ones sometimes. She may be the one but only time will tell.

That's all, folks. 45min to close the gate to I think I'll just head there. I already feel at home in Spain so I can already say it's good to be back; even though I am really determined to make a living in the Nordics, they are not perfect (and neither is no one) and I will always be a proud Southern.

Um bem-haja,
Pedro Mendes

quarta-feira, 5 de julho de 2017

Malmö and Stockholm

So, three days have passed by and I'm leaving Sweden in less than eight hours already. It hasn't been as long as the time I've spent in Copenhagen but anyway this is the end of another stage so let's write again.

My Monday was spent waking around Copenhagen's Little Mermaid site. The statue itself is indeed disappointing and not that cool as it seems - although emblematic nevertheless - but the surroundings are pretty cool: there's this fortress in the middle of a star-shaped lake, a park really close by and on the way to Little Mermaid on foot one can notice the Royal Palace.

I have then returned home to have lunch (and make dinner as well) and to pack. Also, I have to mention that was the day I officially did the stupidiest thing in my life (so far, of course): I had a cup of juice on my laptop which fell to the sofa and also a bit for my shirt. As I was cooking a pizza on the oven, I decided to put my shirt there to dry a bit; as it didn't work, I decided to turn on the oven. Yup, like my nigga Nas says in his Halftime hit, "rest in peace yo, I'm out".

After packing, I went to the Central Station to cash out my Rejsekort (I hope I nailed it this time) and get a ticket to Malmö, which I didn't because the queue was big af. Some nice Danish (I know, this is too vague) told me to go to the airport instead and get the train over there instead, which I did and successfully got some of the money I had on the card back and paid the rest in cash - although I've kept 1 DKK which I just remembered I forgot to use to tip the tour guides here in Stockholm and mock them. Still haven't got it on my account though; on the other hand, the last 20% of my Erasmus scholarship have finally arrived.

So, I'm back in Malmö. After leaving my lugagge in some locker in the station, I went wandering around mostly for the places I've been in November: close to the coast and in the garden nearby. Didn't have time to go to Trianglen, the more urbanized area, this time; well, I actually could have done it as the bus to come to Stockholm ended up being 30min late. Anyway, I took a longer route and I didn't turn any map - both physical or virtual - or asked anyone for directions and this is cool because my orientation isn't usually very reliable. This time it was great in my beloved Malmö: if I'm ever to live in Copenhagen, the third biggest Swedish city will be my resting and retiring place. Bikes and people jogging everywhere, beautiful and modern architecture, lots of green spaces in this Coimbra-size cozy and nice city.

The bus left at 22h40 and I had my first problem when entering the bus: it was almost full so I had to take the last seat in the middle of the last row - the one with no one ahead of me. Or at least that's what was supposed to be but after our first stop in Lund, we realized that the bus was overbooked due to these dudes who entered and made the non-English speaker driver check our tickets not once, but twice. They ended up traveling seated or laying on the floor of the corridor, which I don't even know if it's legal. I've already filled my complaint.

The voyage was more bearable than what I initially thought and there already be clarity in the sky at 4am (it's midnight as I'm writing this and it's still not totally dark) I went to sleep some hours at my Portuguese host, another really cool guy called Luís. I've done two free tours around the city and maybe due to the weather, Stockholm seemed to me too monochromatic (all in yellow). But the Old Town tour was more interesting than the first one in Söder-whatever and I then went to this 7/4 celebration with some American friends of Luís - and apparently there was this woman with an heavy metal shirt which had been pointed out as it was a "Christian celebration", which made his American friend feel at home in her own words. Disgusting.

I then went to have dinner with a Portuguese friend who comes here every once per month for working. We've discussed about how Swedish immigration policy and their political correctness "dictatorship" regarding the way foreigners are seen by the society is harming the country; some "no-police" zones are beginning to arise and as Luís says, if they all come to Stockholm there will obviously be a lot of homeless people on the metro begging. Integration is way more than just allowing people to come in, and if they don't want to be integrated then they might as well be kicked out. I'm very pro-multiculturalism but my (and our) European values have to be above anything else in our continent. Of course, I am talking only about "regular" immigrants, not war refugees: those shall be accepted anyway but we can place them in the interior as well where everyone will benefit from it.

About today, I did another general tour in the morning around the city main sites (Queen's street, King's garden, Nobel place, so on) and then went home to buy 4 hamburgers for 50 kr and save some more money as travelling is taking me a lot. I slept for a while and I then went to this Living Museum with an exposition about how propaganda was and is used to control the people and society mostly focused on Nazi Germany and the USSR. It will be till mid-August I believe. I headed to the Medieval Museum afterwards and spent 2h30 there.

I've already been in Europe's greatest museums but this one gotta be the most well-organized and structured ever. You can learn a lot about Stockholm, how it was founded, how people lived, what did they do, how did it evolved, alongside with all the background behind its discovery - it was meant to be just a random parking lot for the parliament. What amazed me the most, though, was the fact that they explained how they made the discoveries via osteopathy, carbon datation, face reconstruction and all those techniques. Just Nordic countries things, I think.

Well, gotta figure out how to get to the central station, pack and sleep a couple of hours. Back to you in Finland!

domingo, 2 de julho de 2017

4th European Conference for Science Journalists

So, here I am, sitting on the couch of my cool Portuguese host in Copenhagen after arriving on Monday for a conference. I'll be in Scandinavia until the 18th so in the meantime I'll write here about what's going on.

So, I got the first great news while still in Portugal: the day before, I received an email stating that I was included on the travel grants list, meaning that they reimbursed me for the trip to Copenhagen and also from the one from Helsinki back to Portugal. As I'm going in a really low budget and I don't mean to overload my parents, this is great.

The conference took place in three places, all closely located: the Concert Hall, the South University of Copenhagen campus and the IT University - some kind of new age architecture, the coolest I've ever been and where I got a locker for the whole week for asking in the reception about it. All of this in the area of DR Byen.

The first day was essentially assisting to this session on EU living labs (not that interesting) and then some reception where I met Mar, Roser (two Span... catalan girls) and Max, a British dude who works for Guardian. I was the youngest and probably the only student among the participants, which was curious when people were talking and in the middle of the conversation "yeah and then my son/husband/wife (...)" and I would slowly start acknowledging it.

I stayed at a friend's place during the conference, in Høje Taastrup, like one hour away by train + metro. He's older than 25 (I don't know his real age but here in Denmark they throw you cinnamon if you're still single at that age and they've already done it with him) and lives with his fiancée, Nikki, which I fooled by speaking Danish at the doorbell this one time after coming from the supermarket where my "godaften" wasn't good enough to do the same with the cashier.

So, on Tuesday the day was about how to properly communicate and defend integrity (one core value press seems to be forgetting these days), then some video-making session after lunch where I met Thom, also a Brit, and also people from Nature telling that we should never aim to catch every audienc. Before dinner the talk I assisted was about how to make media talk about things which can influentiate politics (the focus was on world hunger), which I'll be back to in a bit.

There was just some reception by night that day and then on the following morning we started adressing the climate change topic (the main theme of this conference) and how it's ridiculous that climate change advocates and deniers have the same "power" in media - for it to be proportional, we should have debates not 1 to 1 but 99 scientists to 1 skeptical. I went to this EU press release after lunch regarding some research and science comission and/or council related to Moedas' comissionary which was pretty complex and confuse, basically EU in a nutshell. We then had this workshop about what we think about the way climate change is being communicated in media (I personally believe that being too alarmist leads to a skeptic public). After that, there was this really cool magazine as an example as an alternative way in media (https://www.substanzmagazin.de/) and I went to another press release, this time about conspiracy theories (CT) on media (there's this projet which will even have this kind of a conference in Lisbon in september which focus on how CT influenciate and have influenced society).

The coolest talks took place on Thursday, starting by the panel sessions where Shawn Otto and Mike Galsworthy focused on the manipulation in both USA and UK, respectively, about science in media - showing once again its power and how it's important to relate both fields. Went to Niels Bohr institute after lunch, where was interesting to learn about the story of the place and Bohr itself (and how Einstein would ask him for cigarettes after his doctor forbidding him) and also this project in Greenland to study ice-melting. The last session I've attented was about new technique to spread science and I've even made a pitch alongside Roser and Thom, where we focused on how young people didn't have much voice in this conference - true that I didn't apply to present anything as so far I have nothing but I've seen some tweets of other people complaining about this so it felt pertinent and maybe we'll present it in Toulouse next year. It's not about old vs young people though, but how we all benefit for listening to all and different ideas.

By night, we went to Christiania for this Science and Cocktails evening (some kind of an expensive PhD), where the physicist Lawrence Krauss gave a talk about how the Universe exists by chance. Didn't like very much the way he talked about Higgs and gravitational waves as if they are already considered as facts, neither how he didn't have that much empiristic data to base himself but no doubt he's an astonishing communicator. After that we went to a local café to drink something.

The next day I went to an Hindenburg masterclass, this audio software for journalists which isn't very useful for me but still worth it anyway. I then had lunch in the meat harbour with Mar, Roser and Thom and after they left we went for this Digital Playground where I should go back tomorrow and sponsored by Olympus with visual illusions and experiences. The final farewell took place at the sky bar of this huge 23-floor hotel, and the drinks were free for us! I then went to my new host, Paulo, a really cool Portuguese guy and his Danish girlfriend which says I have a Jutlandic Danish accent (still not Copenhagen but at least closer than Lisbon). Today the day was spent going to this American event with crafted beer and USA flags with some friends of Paulo he met in meet-ups and I then went to Tivoli - it's cool but if I couldn't had make it for free with Paulo's card, it's just worthless to pay 120 (18€ ) just for enter.

Anyway, here I am now heading to sleep. In the meantime I've sent an email to this Danish professor I've met in the conference who told me there's a PhD on Science communication here in Copenhagen. I had already put aside the idea of continue studying but this can be a great way to enter the country and the state really supports you a lot in these programs. We'll see.

Vi sis,
Pedro

segunda-feira, 6 de fevereiro de 2017

Fim de Erasmus

Este post vem uma semana e um dia atrasado, como já aconteceu com outros anteriores; porém, desta vez, o que pretendia era escrevê-lo na quinta-feira, dia do meu último exame - já de volta a Lisboa -, mas desde esse dia que só hoje consegui ficar em casa a ver as minhas séries e TED talks, ler/escrever artigos e publicações no Uspeti, como esta, por exemplo.

A chegada a Bruxelas para a época de exames foi, desde logo, atribulada: a TAP atrasou-se, no total quase meia-hora, e quando cheguei ao aeroporto já não se via quase ninguém, já não havia autocarros ou comboios e eu já a fritar em ter que pagar dezenas de euros num táxi. Eis que o Miguel, um espanhol de Ferrol, na Galiza, que apanhou o voo comigo em Lisboa, se junta a mim, a outro hispânico e ainda a umas albanesas (ou pelo menos, a com quem falei era) e, após negociação, acabámos por pagar "apenas" 10€ por pessoa para ir para Bruxelas.

O meu tempo resumiu-se a, na primeira semana, começar a estudar para Dynamique des fluides et des plasmes, a cadeira que me ia dar equivalência a Plasmas no Técnico mas que nada teve deste estado físico presente, por exemplo, na parte violeta da chama. Usei o verbo no Pretérito Imperfeito pois, mesmo apesar de ter passado o fim-de-semana antes da prova a estudar - o que, eu sei, não é muito mas custou -, chumbei no exame, oral. Há muitas vantagens neste tipo de sistema mas uma desvantagem crucial, que é o facto de não poder "escolher" a nota que quero ter. Em Lisboa, posso estudar para o 15 e ter de facto essa nota; na ULB, podia saber 19 valores da matéria mas, se saísse o 1 que não estudei bem, não dava. Ainda tentei que o professor me deixasse fazer a segunda fase (aliás, um trabalho, pois Fluides é intragável e chumbava de novo) logo nesse mês e não em Agosto, como é o oficial, mas o coordenador de Erasmus da ULB não deixou.

Na semana seguinte, era suposto começar a estudar para Nanophysique/Nanofísica, coisa que fiz até perceber que não ia conseguir, pois é uma cadeira tão teórica como, de resto, todas as outras no curso de Física na ULB, e eu já estou com formalismos matemáticos pelos cabelos - afinal, estou num mestrado de engenharia. Entretanto a Hanna foi a Bruxelas e apresentei-a ao pessoal numa festa, apesar de não terem sido dias muito bons pois estávamos os dois stressados com a universidade, e ela com o trabalho também, mas já lá vamos.

O caso é que, entre chamadas para pôr o curso de Francês no LA (de maneira a que conseguisse assegurar a bolsa pois, tendo já feito Didactique, de 5 ECTS, assegurava desde já o mínimo de seis créditos), coisa que o coordenador em Lisboa me tinha dito que não seria preciso mas afinal foi, e ainda e-mails que lhe enviei para saber se, uma vez que Nanofísica me daria equivalência a uma opcional, se poderia antes fazer uma outra no segundo semestre no IST para compensar, acabei por cagar para Nanophysique e tive mais tempo para o meu primo André que, mais tarde, foi também a Bruxelas.

Fui na mesma ao exame, para ter nota de presença, no mesmo dia em que tive o de Relações Internacionais - ainda não sei mas devo ter chumbado, pois tinha conteúdo para os estudos de caso mas não para a teoria sobre a cadeira e o próprio professor, depois de ter sido o primeiro nos meus dezassete anos de estudo a dizer que tinha a letra bonita, me avisou a rir que não estudei. Só a solidariedade entre latinos me poderá valer agora.

Entre os dois exames fui conhecer o grande François Englert, proeminente físico belga que ganhou o Prémio Nobel em 2013 pela descoberta do Bosão de Higgs (a par do cientista francês que dá o nome à partícula) e que, soube mais tarde, infelizmente, foi sobrevivente do Holocausto. Conheci-o pois, no próprio dia que fui deixar a Hanna ao autocarro para ir para o aeroporto apanhar o avião de volta - e onde comemos uma pizza à pressa, num jantar onde o romantismo foi inversamente proporcional ao seu significado -, em que fui posteriormente à galeria de Jean-Marie Bertrand, amigo de infância do Prof. Englert e que conheci pois é a mesma onde o António, um pintor amigo do meu senhorio, expõe em Bruxelas. Isto de ser um gajo que fala com toda a gente sem problemas tem vantagens.

Gostei bastante de estar com o Englert. Cheguei ao gabinete dele, estava a ver presentes que lhe tinham enviado, presumo, pois tinham cartas a ele endereçadas e consistiam em livros e garrafas de vinho em caracteres chineses. Antes de começarmos a falar, sempre em Francês, colocou um aparelho auditivo, mesmo à "avozinho" - apesar de o meu, há uns anos e tal como o mítico Professor Girassol, achar que não precisava - e começou por me perguntar o que estudava, o meu tema de tese, que professores tinha tido.

Depois, tentei falar sobre a sua investigação quanto ao Bosão, colocando-lhe perguntas para que começasse a falar e eu a apenas ouvir, e pus-lhe a questão na qual ando a pensar desde que estudo Física, que é a minha convicção de que a Mecânica Quântica não é uma teoria final devido à sua natureza probabilística; ele explicou-me que o conceito de probabilidade aí é diferente da Lei de Laplace (casos favoráveis/casos possíveis) e que, caso a MQ seja uma explicação intermédia do mundo, que ainda estamos muito longe de chegar à "derradeira teoria", uma vez que ainda nos é muito estranho perceber o que é uma partícula estar aqui OU ali e aqui E ali. No fundo, a diferença entre um bom cientista e um grande cientista é que o bom sabe muito e acha que sabe tudo, enquanto o grande sabe um muito um pouco maior e acha que não sabe nada.

No final do exame de RI, isto tudo nesse dia de 25 de janeiro, fui para Milão, com o meu primo a ir comigo para o aeroporto desde logo apesar de ter o voo mais de duas horas depois. Mal entro no avião, começa toda a gente a assumir que sou italiano, a começar pelas hospedeiras, que nem me falaram sequer em francês ou inglês numa fase inicial, situação que se repetiu em Itália em cafés e restaurantes, onde se dirigiam a mim mas era a Hanna quem respondia, pois fala de facto alguma coisa enquanto eu, apesar de perceber relativamente bem, arranho meia dúzia de frases e pouco mais.

Ficámos apenas duas noites mas foi uma boa estadia, pois estivemos juntos já numa maneira mais de "couple" e gostámos ambos disso. E fui a San Siro (Giuseppe Meazza, pois sou fã do Inter), onde queria ir já há provavelmente uma década e que recomendo pois é uma viagem incrível pela história do futebol italiano. O nosso airBnB é que era um beliche, com camas pequenas, mas com boa vontade consegue-se tudo e a cama de cima é claro que não chegou a ser utilizada - a não ser quando ela meteu na cabeça que queria uma almofada só para si, sendo que estas ocupavam a cama toda.

Acordámos às 4h na sexta-feira, dia 27, para voltar, tendo ainda ficado uns momentos no aeroporto a falar e enfim, a deixar as emoções escorrerem pelos globos oculares. Eu fui o primeiro a apanhar o avião (ela foi e voltou de Bruxelas) e, apesar de ainda ter ido a casa de volta à capital da Europa, ainda fui à ULB antes de dormir para o Sr. Martel, o gajo do gabinete de mobilidade e que foi provavelmente a pessoa de quem mais gostei dos serviços, me assinar a declaração de estada. De volta a casa, não dormi grande coisa pois fui a Solbosch ter com a Danaé, uma rapariga do BEST que ia para uma viagem na neve e que portanto não voltaria a ver, e estivemos com mais malta, quer da associação quer outros Erasmus, a beber dentro do campus. À noite, houve festa em casa da Seline, onde fumámos finalmente os havanos que ela trouxe quando esteve em Cuba - e onde vai casar em Abril, se não estou em erro - e fomos em seguida, alguns de nós, para o spot de outros Erasmus, estes espanhóis, parte do grupo com quem passava mais tempo. Mais despedidas.

No dia seguinte, estive pela segunda vez com pessoal do LIVRE a falar sobre um meet-up que um bacano, também Pedro e que também começou no MEFT, queria fazer por Bruxelas sobre como o crescimento da Inteligência Artificial era mais uma razão para suportar o Rendimento Básico Incondicional - tenho pena já não estar lá, pois gostaria imenso de marcar presença. À noite, combinei ir beber uma jola com o Sacha, um gajo do BEST de quem fiquei muito amigo e que foi o MO do curso de Outono, e eis que de repente estão mais 7/8 outros membros no bar onde fomos, uma surpresa agradável.

Tinha ainda convite para ir à despedida de um brasileiro, grande bacano, e a Raíssa, também ela de Terras de Vera Cruz, tinha-me dito anteriormente que já não ia dar para nos vermos após lhe ter dito que ia bazar no dia seguinte, até que me diz para ir a uma festa em casa de um Mathias, onde estavam raparigas que me conheciam, sendo que ela nem sequer conhecia o anfitrião também. Levei comigo mais três do BEST, chego lá e o Mathias vem todo excitado dizer "so you are Pedro!" e que já estava bué gente a falar de mim e ya, estavam lá a Roxana, a Seline de quem me tinha despedido na véspera, as amigas italianas dela (com o charme típico da mulher transalpina, em especial a Serena), a já referida Raíssa e ainda a Vesselina, uma búlgara lindíssima e com quem não usaria o produto que o seu nome sugere.

Essa noite, a última em Bruxelas, foi também a primeira (e única, portanto) que passei fora de casa, ficando com o Sacha e o Robin. Acordei às 8h, após me ter deitado às 5h, para ir para casa ficar no sofá meio a dormir, meio a ver a final do Open da Austrália, onde fiquei feliz por o Federer ter provado que conseguia voltar a ganhar, quer ao Rafa num Grand Slam após dez anos de derrotas, quer um título Major de todo. A minha prima Marta foi lá almoçar, tendo-me ajudado a fazer as malas pois a TAP tinha uma promoção para levar mais 10 kg para estudantes de Erasmus em setembro e agora ia de Ryanair pois a mesma já não existia - e, como disse Lavoisier, a matéria não se perde nem se gasta. Partiu-me o único copo que roubei com sucesso à noite mas de facto consegui deixar apenas três camisolas para trás, que espero que a Filipa mas consiga trazer. O Miguel levou-me ao aeroporto e o meu afilhado Peixoto foi-me buscar já na ocidental praia lusitana.

Se academicamente não foi de facto uma boa opção ter ido para Bruxelas, em termos pessoais e sociais foi sem dúvida uma experiência que não trocaria por nada. Desde o Miguel, o meu senhorio que foi quase como um pai para mim e com quem espero manter contacto, até à Hanna - vamos tentar manter isto vivo, ela tentará vir cá em Maio para a bênção e eu quero ver se consigo voltar a Bruxelas no final de Março para novo evento do BEST -, passando por todas as pessoas de todos os continentes que conheci, em Bruxelas e não só, só tenho a recomendar a toda a gente que participe no programa Erasmus+. Porém, há uma coisa quanto à qual importa ter atenção, que me fritou a cabeça mais vezes que as desejáveis e que é um problema transversal à UE: a burocracia. Não quero com isto dizer que toda a gente é incompetente, mas evitem ao máximo confiar na competência das outras pessoas; eu, se quero algo bem feito, tento que dependa o máximo possível de mim e só de mim. Claro que isso não faz com que corra sempre bem, de todo, mas prefiro que algo saia mal por minha culpa que por culpa dos outros.

De volta a Lisboa, a razão pela qual só a partir de quinta tinha tempo para escrever foi o exame de Partículas que tive nesse dia. Se tiver a cadeira feita, consigo só ter a tese e a cadeira de Plasmas para o ano - ou nem isso, caso repita o exame em Agosto - e assim pagar só metade da propina, o que é importante dado o panorama financeiro. Na sexta-feira voltei a contar com a ajuda do meu afilhado para mudar as coisas para a nova casa, apesar de ainda ter de voltar a fazê-lo com o resto para a semana, antes de ir para o ENEF, em Almada. É isto que é  a Praxe, criar laços que de facto se mantêm caso as pessoas assim o queiram. No sábado, voltei a Lisboa e foi o almoço de anos do meu avô, um homem muito importante para o Tramagal pelo seu lado humanístico e social que demonstrava na sua profissão de médico. Foi bonito, com homenagens (incluindo um poema meu feito do fundo do meu génio criativo), apesar de ele estar cada vez mais debilitado a olhos vistos. Escrevo isto com ele na Cruz Vermelha desde ontem de manhã, sabendo que está estável, felizmente.

Bem, é essencialmente isto. Agora com o fim do Erasmus, não sei quando voltarei a escrever, mas vou voltar ao que vinha fazendo: quando quiser manifestar a minha opinião em mais caracteres que os 140 do twitter ou as dez linhas de um post no Facebook, volto ao Uspeti. Até lá, sabem onde me encontrar.

Um bem-haja,
Pedro Mendes

segunda-feira, 9 de janeiro de 2017

"Férias" pré-exames, uma retrospetiva

O tempo está a passar depressa. Já vamos a quase um terço de Janeiro, e parece que ainda ontem voltei a Portugal e amanhã já estou a regressar. O que é fixe, pois tem que ser para fechar a época de exames, mas estou bem mais pressionado desta vez que o que costumo. Mas bem, por alguma razão os meus amigos dizem "é incrível como estás aí a fritar sobre o que responder a essa gaja e nunca ficas nervoso para uma prova".

Foi um bom período cá: estive com a minha família, os meus amigos, e tratei finalmente do tema de tese - terei como orientador o professor do que queria inicialmente, e que assim será coorientador, e terei de construir um percetrão (tipo de rede neuronal artificial) quântico com memristores, algo que também tive de googlar mas que se enquadra no que pretendia. Assinei o contrato de Erasmus e receberei bolsa, 900€ nas próximas semanas e 225€ depois (que transferirei integralmente para os meus pais, que me estão a pagar isto tudo e portanto nem poderia ser de outra maneira), voltei a concorrer para o programa de estudantes de Verão no CERN, para o qual levei nega nos últimos dois anos mas, afinal, dizem que à terceira é que é de vez. Talvez nem vá para o CERN mas antes para Aarhus - uma escola de Verão de três semanas para pôr em prática o meu dinamarquês - ou faça um estágio na REN de um a três meses, que pensei inicialmente em fazer durante o semestre mas, querendo tirar a carta e dar explicações, talvez não seja possível afinal.

Nem tudo são boas notícias, porém, uma vez que perdi a casa em Lisboa. Era um negócio da China pois é literalmente emprestada, pelo que só pagávamos as despesas, mas isso devia-se ao facto de os senhorios serem tios/primos afastados... dos meus dois (ex-)colegas de casa, e já no Verão de 2015 tinha reparado que me queriam pôr um par de patins. A desculpa que lá arranjaram agora foi que houve queixas de barulho do jantar que dei lá quando voltei - supostamente, sempre houveram e desde o início nunca os pude organizar, e só agora é que disseram isto e nem foi, nem a mim diretamente, nem ao meu pai, nem ao meu colega de casa. Enfim, pessoal básico de aldeia é assim, nem vale a pena pensar mais nisso. Agora arranjar a meio do ano e a bom preço vai ser complicado, pelo que é mais uma razão para tentar ganhar dinheiro agora a partir de março. Mas certamente que tudo se comporá.

O que tenho feito para os exames foi, na segunda semana, despachar os casos de estudo de Relações Internacionais - um sobre o possível futuro da Nova Ordem Mundial e o outro sobre o papel da UE na democratização do mundo. Não faço grande ideia de como se fazem e as bacanas a quem perguntei também não, pelo que basicamente resumi os capítulos e fui dando a minha opinião (oito páginas, 3400 palavras para cada). Aprendi cenas e o professor - que me respondeu em inglês a um e-mail em francês - deu a entender que o mais importante é o exame escrito, sendo que não prestei atenção sequer a uma aula inteira, das que fui, e marquei o de Nano para o mesmo dia para assim conseguir ir a Milão. Como disse, já aprendi coisas e isso é que me importa com a cadeira; se passar no exame, para o qual irei, ainda assim, ler o livro o de estudo quando tiver tempo, é um bónus.

Para as cadeiras de Física, estou um pouco apreensivo, pois estou à toa e, como sempre, não sei estudar. A primeira é Fluidos e tenho visto vídeos e indo vendo a matéria, tendo já chegado à conclusão que o que importa a fazer são exercícios, que começarei na terça após ter os apontamentos de uma colega - e amanhã já irei a ler os slides do professor no avião. São seis dias até ao exame, penso que correrá tudo bem mas o que me dá algum medo é ser uma oral e não saber como funciona; habituei-me demasiado a ter imenso tempo para inventar o que não sabia e não o poderei fazer desta vez, mas por outro lado, só um gajo num documento com orais antigas do professor - que segui no Twitter anteontem - é que disse que ele não o ajudou quando não sabia. Vamos ver como será.

Irei, então, a Milão, de 25 a 27 de janeiro. Vou com a Hanna, que chega à tarde, enquanto eu só à noite, e voltamos na manhã de 27 pois ela trabalha e assim, sendo uma sexta-feira, escuso de deixar logo tudo tratado em termos de burocracias de Erasmus antes de ir nessa última viagem. Reservámos um airbnb por 17€ por pessoa para as duas noites, mas queria, ainda assim, tentar couchsurfing e poupar aí também pois por esse preço vai-se ao Giuseppe Meazza e está fora de questão não o fazer. E dado que a Marta deixou de facto de me responder, e ainda se faz de desentendida em relação a isso, a juntar às cartas que disse que me mandou mas que nunca chegaram, aprendi finalmente com um erro do passado: o de ficar à espera de uma gaja e assim não estar com outra. Já é difícil prender-me a algo em concreto, quanto mais a apenas uma possibilidade e ainda para mais com a mulher portuguesa, que nunca quer players mas que quer sempre game; o que tenho agora com a Hanna vejo a continuar no futuro, mas, e aprendendo com outro erro, não vou pensar demasiado nisso e deixar apenas andar, tal como tem acontecido.

Agora, vou acabar de ler o Tintim que comprei. Um bem-haja.
Pedro Mendes